I'm moving from The US. I'm going to Canada, to learn more of this story of The Rake. I won't be going to my friends', nor will I even contact them in any way. I don't want to bring death upon anyone. Before I leave, I have one more place to visit. The Hometown. It attracts me so much it's sick. I have dreams, either bad or neutral ones, of the place every night. And every night I wake up covered in sweat knowing I will have to go back there. That's where it all started at, and maybe it will end there too. I don't even care anymore, I have made peace with the fact that He's gonna get me one day, and when he does, I will die. There is no escaping it, and I'm even turning suicidal. When I stay at a high place I can't keep my eyes off the window, thinking to myself, 'How much would the fall hurt? Will it kill me?' and stuff like that. It's better to die answering questions, I guess. If I make it to Canada, I'll never go back here. I'm even thinking of travelling to Europe and trying to settle down there somehow. Maybe all of Them don't exist there? Highly unlikely. I'm leaving my current location tonight. I will post an update as soon as I can. Not much has happened these days, just the fucking cold. I'll get back to you.
-J
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