Reflections

One of you asked me who I was and how did I get inside Jon's head. This won't be easy.

When Jon was 15 on his summer break, he read an article about tulpas and creating them, so he decided to give it a try. He always wanted a twin brother, so he figured that would be his tulpa. For those of you who don't know what a tulpa is, it's a thoughtform. I really don't want to go into details about it. If you want to know more about tulpas, google the term.

He spent his whole summer vacation meditating and creating me. I was supposed to be the exact same as him. In everything. Even share his memories and his personality. Thus I was created. We spent the next year happilly together. We chilled out, since Jon didn't really have friends back then. After that year we spent together constantly, he started putting a distance between us. He said something about the fact we are the same being creepy and that he would go insane if we continued this way. After a month of that, he started totally ignoring me. Like I wasn't there. This made me angry. Very, very angry. So I continued living in his brain, like all tulpas do. I watched and wished for vengeance. He could have at least destroyed me, you know, the way he made me but just reverse it. But he was too lazy, so he condemned me to 10 years of suffering in his head, feeling everything he felt, sharing every gruesome moment with him. This was highly unnerving.

Then one day, I felt something. It was the day he met Joseph, some 8 or 9 years ago. It was like I had greater power. I could actually control Jon's movement. Just a bit. I could change his breathing slighty, make him blink and control some minor muscles. It intensified over the years. So before Jon started seeing The Master, now I could actually move his arms and legs at night. Not enough to walk, just a bit, I guess. Then Jon started seeing The Master for the first time. More power, even more than what I accumulated over the years. Now I could awake him at night, stand up, and do some small activities. Nothing much, my coordination sucked. I could, for example, turn on the music slightly and watch him freak out when he wakes up in the morning. Or break things. That was always good. Then, he got caught on that rooftop. This time, The Master was so close to him, He even entered his brain. I felt his great presence. The Master made Joseph carve in his poem onto Jon's back. I felt the pain, but so did Jon. After that, I gained coordination. Finally, I started using his Twitter. He fought me and we wrote fucked up shit. He didn't remember, as he was half-asleep. Then finally, one day, The Master came again, and it was the breaking point. I was too strong to be kept in Jon's brain. So I took over his body, too. Currently, he's trapped in what is now MY brain, and I don't intend on letting the fucker out.

I joined The Horde along with Joseph. We serve The Master now. And poor Jon has to watch the bad things we do. Every fucking second of it. Especially the gory parts. Ooh, the little pussy cries so much to that. He's crying now as he reads this. He's desperate. He can't control anything. At least he now knows what it was like for me for 10 fucking years.

-E